a quest made by walking

"Walking opens us up. It feeds us. Image by image, it spoons up for us a broth or soup of soul food, which sustains us as we do the work necessary to shape and reshape our lives."
-- Julia Cameron, Vein of Gold

I'm becoming addicted to walking.

What started as a lark, a way to spend an afternoon and try my hand at taking pictures, has turned into a craving, a simple, stubborn need to get out there where the sky is blue, the grass is green and uncut, and walk. I am powerless against it, now bending to its will.

This may all seem nice and normal, but for me, it's been a struggle to get to this place. For the last four years or so, my various physical ailments have largely held me back from living a somewhat normal life. Constantly tired, needing naps in the afternoon, not being able to stay out late -- these things turned day and night into nothing more than a stage play I caught bits of between bouts of sleep. When awake, pains kept me immobile. For awhile, in the darker days, I rarely walked anywhere; I became trapped in my own house.

If you want proof of the healing powers of art, here I am. Art, joy, creativity, personal exploration -- I have been digging for four years, often through tears, to find a solution, a "fix." That magic solution that would heal all my woes. Nothing came easily, but now, for the first time, as I sit here, ready to go for my walk, I feel fantastic. Yes, I still have pain. But it's so small....we've become friends over the years, and I feel that we've reached an understanding.

*laughs* This post is going somewhere different than I planned. These things happen!

This will be my 102nd post on this blog. That's quite an accomplishment! And I need to say this: that having this blog, putting my art and words out there, meeting amazing people -- this has contributed greatly to my newfound health and happiness. Each one of you have given me a precious gift that I won't squander or waste. I am just so thankful. When I started, I had no idea how far I'd go....and look where i am! It shocks and amazes me every day, and sometimes, I feel like pinching myself.

I had dreams, back in college. Not one has come true. Perhaps what they say is true, that you never know what you need, only what you want. I think the biggest thing I've gotten back is FAITH. I'd lost it so long ago....to have it back....WOW!

*G*

I've a huge stack of papers, here, articles and art for the next issue of the 'zine. And the weather's beautiful outside. I believe a walk is in order. I leave you with images from Sunday's walk, all taken with my Polaroid camera.

Comments

[apple]

It looks like you had a wonderful time. I am so glad that you have been feeling better. That is great!!

[Carolyn]

Thank you so much for sharing, you have been inspiring me to create art and you do't even knowit. I check your blog and youtube account regularly and everytime there is a post I get so exctied. Art has become my life, the thing I yearn for and the place I go for my spiritual healing. Keep sharing! Keep loving life! Keep being you!

[PJ]

I've enjoyed your honesty within your blog :) It is inspirational!

[Sharon Bennett]

I am so glad you are out walking and taking in all that is beautiful outside. I love this time of year before the heat index pegs out. Then I must stay in, but for now, I love to get out and walk also. Walk on.

[Marlene]

I do believe Art and Nature play a large part in healing. I check your blog regularly and like another poster, I get excited when you post and I do like your tutorials. I'm new to the journaling thing and find myself "blocked" by getting started. I just need to sit down and do it. Thank you for your inspiration.

[Maricarmen Pizano]

Hi Samantha!!!
It's me, Maricarmen from PS. Do you remember me?
I've been visiting your blog and watching your videos for a while and until today that I decide to write you a little note. Sorry!... I just want to tell you that you've been teaching me a lot and that you are a great artist and please keep doing your art!
I'm so glad I found you and I can keep in touch with you!
Take care and I will keep visiting,
Maricarmen

[Judy H in NC]

If you will notice I started walking several months ago, although for a lot of different reasons, but find similar results as you are seeing.

Don't you find your body/mind misses the walk if you don't go one day? And since I walk through a lot of residental areas, I am seeing things I never would have if I had not walked or had just driven by. The flowers in people's yards in particular. And the smells.

Keep it up.

[Nina]

YAY!!!!!!!!!

[cheryl finley]

Hello! What a wonderful post! I found your link from Leah's Creative Everyday 2008 list... of all the links it was meant for me to click on yours! I too have been dealing w/physical pain for a number of years, and to hear you talk about how creativity, etc has helped...encourages me. I too experience relief by keeping up and diving into my many creative pursuits (and I was just out last week walking and taking photos)... but you have an energy that I'm looking to get back. To hear you talk about faith and how you look forward to your walks...and that you've reached an understanding with the pain...you've given me food for thought. I pray that I will come to an understanding and a letting go so it doens't steer my life anymore. I too want to say...like you..that "I feel fantasic"!! Thank you for the inspiriation... I'll keep trying :)

Cheryl