{ blue & yellow flowers, searching for perfectionism, pieces vs. pages }

A new journal! I got in the mood to make a journal, so I sat down and made one...and remembered why I stopped making them myself -- they're hard and take a lot of work!

I've never done a half-bound one, though (and LOVE the look!), so it was kinda interesting to figure out how to do it. I saw this paper at Paper Source last week and knew it would make a cute journal cover. *G*

But as I gaze at it sitting on the couch arm next to me, all I can see are the imperfections. The loose signatures, the missed steps, the off measurements. How I still can't seem to cut down text blocks evenly. It's loose and maybe I've used store-bought ones too long to appreciate the imperfections present in my hand-made one? Why can't I seem to get past this? Can't I just use it and be happy?

*sigh*

I'll have to work through this. I always have other journals to work in. I just can't seem to be satisfied....

Something else I've been thinking about lately is Pieces Vs. Pages. Most of my artwork is in my journals. How can this be shown? Does it have the same value? How do I show this work off in coffee shops, etc? I can't just pull it out and hang it -- my pages are double sided. Do I HAVE a body of work or just books in a bookcase?

And then, there ARE some paintings, but every attempt I've made to sell them hasn't worked out. It makes me want to stay inside the journal where it's safe, where there are no expectations, where I can hide. Pretend to be an artist. Am I? What does that even mean?

Comments

[Miz Katie]

I can see why you chose the paper. It's very pretty. Making books is hard, I agree. That's why I've switched to mostly making coil bound. Takes far less time and no sewing.

[Melanie]

I do see you as an artist though.... I have always assumed you were ... you mean you AREN'T????
Just kidding ... it is in the way someone sees themselves - unfortunately, that is easier said than done ... we always have to look to others to define ourselves, though I don't know why.
Anyway, I don't have the patience (or time) to make a journal, though I really want a handmade one.

[apple]

I totally agree with you. All of my stuff is in journals too. I am trying to transition to canvas and things, but then I get stuck on what to paint (that is always my problem). I guess I will just have to keep working on it.

[Sharon Bennett]

Hey everybody; I have a piece of Kira's art that is NOT in a journal. And it is beautiful. I love it. So yes you can create great art outside of your journal. Sharon

[Lara]

my first try didn't work, anyway.
i wanted to say that i've been struggling with the same issue and have reached a compromise with my new journal.
i bought one of the square spiral-bound kraft "scrapbooks" from paperchase and it works great: 1. i can always remove a page easily 2. i paperclip pages back to back for continuity so it seems as though both sides are used.
with me it's definitely a confidence issue--i would love to branch out to stand-alone pieces but i find it difficult to leave my safe journaling space. ultimately i would love my journal to be a spring-board for individual art pieces.
your work definitely needs to be seen. i hope you find a solution so this can happen artsy lady!

[Imelda]

Hi Kira you could always try to sell prints of your journal art on beautiful paper or canvas.'I have seen it at other artists.

[Robyn]

Oh yes you are definitely an artist! I love your journal pages, your inspiring banner and the way you blog. We all have these doubts about ourselves even when we seem to be living our dream...or as close to it as we can get. I think it goes hand in hand with our artistic temperaments to doubt what we are creating.

If making your own journal stresses you rather put your energy into the awesome art you are happy doing. I have struggled with similar issues like forcing myself to draw realistically when I would rather abstract my images and get lost in the joy of creating what I love.

[larkejewell]

Workshops? Online? I would love it.