insecurities on a summer sunday
I have such a headache.
I've either been afflicted with a nasty cold or allergies, because it's been about two weeks and I still feel God awful. Sleeping all day, sore throat, congested head. But not like sniffling congested, but that pre-congested, can-feel-it-on-the-back-of-your-throat feeling that's got me sneezing and coughing. I've mostly been watching movies and writing little notes here and there for the written portions of the workshop, doing last minute additions here and there when I can concentrate. Which isn't for long.
For the last few days, I've been wondering why I've been feeling this way when there's just so much to do. So much I want to be working on, should be working on. Maybe I'm supposed to take a break? Or something like that. I've learned to listen to my body over the last six months or so and give in when it's a sure bet I'm not going to win. But still....there's all this inside I want to get OUT and can't seem to shake whatever this is!
After a nap today, I decided to grab a big piece of paper and make a poster of a thought I had running through my head. I was laying on my stomach on the driveway coloring when a neighbor asked what I was up to and came over for a better look. For some reason, I was SO apprehensive....I wondered if she'd like what I was dong, or rather, think I was making art over just being silly. Lately, I've been, well, a bit more successful, like on the edge of SOMETHING, and keep looking over my shoulder in case "they" find out I'm just a fake or they made a mistake or something.
Art and creativity come so much easier to me than they did when I started down this road four years ago, and I'm forever thankful for this experience, this opening up of my life, this chance to see beauty in the little things, like how my puppy shifts in his sleep instead of being annoyed with the disturbed sleep. But who WOULDN'T be afraid of the rug being pulled from under their feet when things are just beginning to look up again?
I'm SO excited for the workshop; I'm throwing myself wholeheartedly into it (even if I DO still have emails to answer!). I've never taught before but it's been a dream of mine since I was a little girl. It makes me so happy and bouncy from the core of my soul to be granted such an amazing opportunity, I'm going to do everything I can to make it the best I can. You've all blessed me beyond my wildest dreams, made me so happy my breath catches in my throat.
Now, if only I could just kick this bug...!
I've either been afflicted with a nasty cold or allergies, because it's been about two weeks and I still feel God awful. Sleeping all day, sore throat, congested head. But not like sniffling congested, but that pre-congested, can-feel-it-on-the-back-of-your-throat feeling that's got me sneezing and coughing. I've mostly been watching movies and writing little notes here and there for the written portions of the workshop, doing last minute additions here and there when I can concentrate. Which isn't for long.
For the last few days, I've been wondering why I've been feeling this way when there's just so much to do. So much I want to be working on, should be working on. Maybe I'm supposed to take a break? Or something like that. I've learned to listen to my body over the last six months or so and give in when it's a sure bet I'm not going to win. But still....there's all this inside I want to get OUT and can't seem to shake whatever this is!
Art and creativity come so much easier to me than they did when I started down this road four years ago, and I'm forever thankful for this experience, this opening up of my life, this chance to see beauty in the little things, like how my puppy shifts in his sleep instead of being annoyed with the disturbed sleep. But who WOULDN'T be afraid of the rug being pulled from under their feet when things are just beginning to look up again?
I'm SO excited for the workshop; I'm throwing myself wholeheartedly into it (even if I DO still have emails to answer!). I've never taught before but it's been a dream of mine since I was a little girl. It makes me so happy and bouncy from the core of my soul to be granted such an amazing opportunity, I'm going to do everything I can to make it the best I can. You've all blessed me beyond my wildest dreams, made me so happy my breath catches in my throat.
Now, if only I could just kick this bug...!
I am sorry to hear you are sick...I hope you feel 100% soon!!
Posted by: saraH | 01 June 2008 at 08:59 PM
Big Hugs and chicken soup, and a box of tissues with lotion!!!!!!
Really hot tea with milk always helps me when I get that icky presinusy thing you described! i know xactly what you are talking about I just got over the better part of it myself!
Jennifer
Posted by: Jennifer VanSchoyck | 01 June 2008 at 09:05 PM
*HUGS*
I'm stuffed up too. I think I must have summer allergies or something. Keep sneezing at the dogpark.
My favorite cold cure-all is matzo ball soup. Chicken noodle with a couple of big yummy comforting cracker-balls.
Thanks for the workshop, I'm looking forward to it :)
Posted by: Noel | 01 June 2008 at 09:13 PM
{{{samantha}}}
you rock :)
and i hope you feel better really soon! that's long enough RIGHT??
<3 meg
Posted by: spillcolors | 02 June 2008 at 05:03 AM
I hope you get relief soon. *hugs*
The successes that are coming your way are more than deserved. You go girl!
Posted by: Lara | 02 June 2008 at 10:46 AM
get well soon,
i love the fonts you used on this page!
Posted by: mahima | 02 June 2008 at 03:06 PM
I have exactly what you have except for the totally stopped up head. It's been like this for over 2 weeks. So I really feel for you and hope you get better soon. I seem to be sleepy all the time. And down here in La, you know near Hell, not really, it's just hot today our central air decides to freak out. The air man came and did a quick fix and will back next week to finish. We will melt by then. I'm looking forward to your class too. :D
Posted by: Sandy | 02 June 2008 at 06:12 PM