a girl and her journal

{ swimming against the tide }

Watch out! I've got my mojo back! I've still got a headache and am feeling lethargic, but I just could not stand another day of not doing art. It was beginning to really get to me!

A little over a week ago, I painted some pages, did spray paint on them, and left them alone. I've been adding little by little...a doodle here, a photo there, some wire where I can (I love the spiral binding...I've been using more 3-D elements). With me being so tired, this simply made it easier to work on stuff. But last night, I was up painting and ripping and sewing and wheee! I've even started on a mailart swap I was supposed to do AGES AGO (sorry, Randi!).

I ALSO have a short story started here. The notebook you use really DOES help! I found an adorable one on clearance at Target the other day, and it's got pages filled already.

OH! And I got GOOD video editing software. Working with iMovie was REALLY getting to me, as someone who learned video editing on an AVID system....oh, things that SHOULD have taken seconds took HOURS. The voice-synching on the Watercolor Crayons video took forever and I almost threw my computer in frustration!

Aww, the baby puppy's sleeping with my foot as a pillow. ;)

There are more pictures over on my flickr page. Sorry that they're smaller/not straight on. Still compiling pages for Anthaology vol. B, my personal 'zine full of journal pages, photos, and stories. Have you seen the first issue?

mish-mosh talky talk

Am I the only one who gets that eeeeeeck nails-on-chalkboard feeling when art journaling is compared to scrapbooking?

I can understand the connection when made by people who don't know about it. But saying they're alike is like putting "White Chicks" and "Citizen Kane" in the same category simply because they're both on film.

I don't know why it is. Just the cute layouts with the die-cuts and brads and papers and such.....it feels so flat. Yes, memories are preserved, but that's it. There's little soul. And of course, this doesn't apply to ALL scrapbook pages -- I've seen some AMAZING stuff out there that DOES speak. But on a whole....

I just read over on Journal Revolution the message from a scrapbooker -- go over and read it. I think that message clearly illustrates the differences between art journalers and scrapbookers. We use EVERYTHING, work from our souls, and aim for self-discovery. They work to preserve memories for many years to come. One is not better than the other, just DIFFERENT.

Half the stuff in my journals is going to yellow and break and such. But that's part of the awesomeness of the journal -- nothing is permanent. 'Tis the nature of life.

When I started art journaling, I had NO IDEA what I was doing. My father's a printer, and has been for over 30 years -- much of my knowledge of all that stuff comes from him. So when I wanted to glue things down flat, without the goopy white glue mess, I got rubber cement. It worked awesomely. Things stayed down. There was no mess. Go outside the edges? Rub it off! Things were flat and pretty and, yes, I do like the smell. I also like the smell of gas. HAHA. Toxic stuff come my way! *laughs*

Imagine my surprise when I read in one of the first books on mixed-media I got that rubber cement looses it's glue power AND yellows over time. I was like, "OMG, I can't use it anymore!" So I stopped. Got gel medium. And double-sided tape (mmmmmmmm I love it!).

Typing that out, maybe I SHOULD go get some more! I loved it! It works so well! Who cares if it's against the rules? HECK. I'm gonna go get some today and use it and if it falls apart in 10 years, oh well!

Are there any rules YOU could break today?

tiny green buds where before there were none

This is my Spring.

Last week, I got my Spirit Cards read. A little-known fact: I am 1/8th Siksika (Blackfoot), and find myself drawn to nature and the tales of Native Americans. It feels...right. Anyway, these Spirit Cards are Native American and were read by a friend who's part Native, too, and has been reading these cards for about twenty years. A lot of what she said brought images to mind, one of which was that, "This is your springtime...you're getting ready to bloom." One thing I've noticed since I began healing myself, other than my heath improving so much that people are really noticing, is that things are aligning for me in the universe. Since this journal is where I am beginning to see the tiny green shoots poking through dark soil, I felt part of my friend's words should be on the cover.

It's made from felt and fabric. I embroidered the words in some unbleached muslin; it took the longest! I'm not very good at embroidery...I'm totally self taught...so much so I "invented" my stitches. It still was a blast to made, though! And the eyelets in the corners... *giggles* I'm just tickled pink!

Left: Me, mid-embroidery.

 

Mad-Dash Journaling.

I haven't been journaling lately....who knows why? Sometimes, you just need to go with the flow and accept that NOT doing an activity is just as valuable as doing it. This might sound odd, but it's true. You see, when I'm NOT journaling, I'm taking photos, reading, walking in the woods, playing with the dogs. All these activities feed my soul and become part of me. We are ever-changing creatures, and every experience we have changes us -- I am not the same person I was 10 minutes ago, and in an hour, I'll be different than I am now. My break allowed me to soak in inspiration, open my mind to changes in who and what I am.

If you've been reading, you know I've been going through some sort of spiritual journey. It's opened the world up to me, allowing me to see things differently. All of this input has been rattling around in my head until yesterday, it just had to get out. 

I didn't do much, and went out only to grab some new paint markers, fabric, and felt. The rest of the day was spent with my nose in my journal. Doodling and drawing and making dots -- I kept working on the yellow page here well past the point I'd usually stop....More and more and more and MORE!!! I colored and added more color and kept going and lines and omg, can you see how I just was charged, just couldn't help myself? *laughs* After I finish this entry, I'm going to go back to work....on my pages!!! Sorry that I'm only showing a bit...but near 'zine time, I like to save my pages for that...that way, the newest stuff's in the 'zine and reflects the most-current me. ;)

One of the things I've noticed is that I'm doing two things:

A. Moving around a lot,

That means, I'll doodle somewhere, and then flip the page and doodle elsewhere. Or draw. Or write. Or glue something down. Or paint. Well, I haven't really painted much as I pre-painted a bunch of pages....which reminds me, I have to do that again so I've got more places to play! But yeah. Unlike life, my journal is not linear.

B. Working piece by piece.

My pages are coming together after several small sittings. The page on the right down there (sorry you can't see all of it...it's still in progress!) started with paint. Then the drawing in pencil. Then the writing. Then the coloring of the girl. And it's FAR from done. On the left, there was the background, then the bird, then the cut out in the middle, then waves. Swirls. And the words ALSO came in seperate sittings. I mean that I don't sit down and work start to finish in one sitting. I'm LIVING in between. I might sit and doodle, but then I'm making lunch or playing fetch or napping or writing. Even going to work! I've found things are more unpredictable and easier to push the envelope, so to speak, than working through it at once.

Kira Workshop.

I'll be "teaching" a workshop this June through my mailing list, JournalGirl. I'm so excited to be doing this, and might start sooner....I'm creating, lesson by lesson, a journal for you all that will hopefully be useful to you after the class is over. I've wanted to teach for awhile, now, and figure if I can't do it in person, I'll do it online! Sometimes, you've got to just go out there and DO it. And, if I want to teach workshops in person, I'll have something together already -- as SARK says, make it REAL, and the rest will follow.

And Finally....New Amy Butler & K&Co. Stuff!!

OMG! Look!!! There's a new collection for K&Co. by Amy Butler. I wish I could have bought it all. Not only is it ROCKING AWESOME, but it's eco-friendly; the packaging is recycled and can be recycled! This picture only shows you a bit of the 88 die-cut pieces in this collection. They're all awesome, beautiful, and I'm giddy just thinking of all the stuff I'll get to use. It was only $5 for this whole thing. There's also beautiful fabric tags, alphabets, brads.....awwwwww......Run, don't walk, to your local Michael's and check it out!!

it's not the destination....

I am on a journey.

It began a few months ago, when I realized my life needed to change and I was the only one who could change it. I then met Kathy, who opened my eyes to a new realm of possibility and introduced me to a wonderful woman-healer who's helped me emensly. In that time, I've found myself happier, able to work longer hours, and, most importantly, gotten off many of my medications.

Don't take this for miraculous recovery -- I still have a long way to go, but I'm excited to embark on the journey. I know I'll be tested, that these almost imediet improvements will taper off, but my faith is growing and I hope it's strong enough to "weather the storm."

A wonderful side-effect of all this inner work is my journaling. I've changed my approach and find myself focusing on different things. It comes easier, now, and many nights, you can find me curled in my favorite chair with my journal and my growing collection of Gelly Roll pens (Jo-Ann's had the Moonlight ones on sale for $0.77 each!!). I'm doodling a LOT more, working instinctively with color, drawing and collaging and writing. I don't go out of my way to journal....most of it happens when I'm half-asleep and at my least censored.

After making the Easy-Peasy journal last week, I wanted one of my own, so I rescued the covered from my "wrecked" sketchbook and made myself a new journal. A ton of pages have random splatters of paint on them....who wants to sit in a room and paint when you can be out in the world seeing?

Winter's FINALLY on it's way out! Chicago's been buried under snow and hit with a long, chilly winter....I cannot WAIT for spring......because me and my dogs can go out.

Yes, dogs!

Say hello to my newest addition, Drake!

But in sadder news, our family has lost a member. My mother, after 26 years of marriage, has left the casa. It was sudden, unexpected, and painful to see her go. But I only wish her the best. To say I'm not effected would be a lie, but I'm trying not to think about it -- to stay in the present.

I'll be spending the day working on the next issue of Page by Page. Speaking of that...

I'm creating a new, larger gallery section! I want it to be a visual feast! So, to do that, I need YOUR journal pages! Send in hi-res pictures and you'll be published. How cool is that?

i'm back!

Did ya miss me?

Much love to my angel Sharon, who made this possible! *G* I cannot thank you enough, girl! She single-handedly saved me from a computer-less existence.

Right before the power cord died, I was working on an entry about my most recent journal adventure. While it's been about 2 weeks since then, I thought I'd still share it with y'all.

You see, like many things, it started with an idea. On how to improve my journal.

While I loved my hard-bound landscape journal, I didn't like how wide it got when opened. Sure, this is fine on a desk, but when out in the world, like at work or in a doctor's waiting room, it gets a little...awkward. So my great idea was this: go to Staples and get it re-bound with wire. Easy, right? Cut off the spine, punch the holes, and voila! Finished.

Or so I thought.

First, they didn't know if it could be done. I'd talked to the manager a few days earlier who said it COULD. Plus, common sense and experience tells me so. Then, I was told that cutting through the bookcloth would dull the blade, so they wouldn't do it. Fine, I said. Give me an exacto knife and I'll cut the paper out myself.

It had to be the dullest exacto blade ever!

I tried my best, but it still "ripped" the cardboard and book cloth instead of cutting it.

And when they cut the paper, they left the glue and signatures intact! That totally defeats the purpose of the wire binding!

At this point, I was regretting my decision to do this. My journal was in pieces. People were waiting in line behind me. And I was being told the book was too thick! I had to make my journal even thinner!

Remember, they were working with an in-progress journal! My beautiful entries out there to be butchered. Oh, the poor babies, being handled that way!

So then, I was standing there with half my journal in my hands, the ripped spine, watching as they punched holes and holes to try to line things up. Oh, but it doesn't end there!! *wails*

I could see the guy struggling to thread the wire binding through. Bending and twisting and the paper in his hands and oh, the pages and aaaaaahhhhhh!

"Excuse me," I said. "I can do that myself!"

He stopped and gave it all to me. After I finished, here's the result:

Ohhhhh.....the edges! And the wire isn't circular, meaning you have to really man-handle each page and the covers to page through it! And it's all....BENT! I tried, I really, REALLY tried to deal with the beautiful imperfections, but....half the pages were punched ON THE EDGE, so they fell out.

*cries* I was so in love with that journal. Don't make my mistake! Buy it in the format you want, or DO IT YOURSELF!!

Here's the replacement (bought a week later...see, I tried!!!):

And thus endith that woe!! Heee!!

I have SO MUCH to tell you! I'm going to post every day because I'm just BURSTING with ideas and creativity! And new vids, too!!

<3 Kira!!!

journal ADD

I have finally figured out why I’ve gone through so many journals in the last two months.

You know how it goes; you find one, fall in love with it, and after doing a few entries, find it’s flaws; the soft cover’s beautiful, but you can only work in it on a table. The notebook’s easy to use, but things fall out easily. The small spiral works great, but the pages aren’t big enough.

But the true quest is much deeper: finding or creating perfection on the outside will help create “perfection” on the pages. We believe the journal itself has magical qualities, ones that, when you’re matched with your paper soul-mate, your true artistic self will appear and every journal page you create will be beautiful, true, and loved.

It’s much like our lives. We look in the mirror and think, “If only I were thinner or prettier, life would be so much easier.” We hide our flaws under loose clothing or dark eyeliner, hoping to distract the eye from the flaws you believe your body to posses. If only you had money to get the better clothes, or the nice haircut, or maybe the time to diet…

We look to these outside things instead of working on our souls. Deep inside, that is where the real work and growth can and will happen. Your outsides, your body, is only a vessel to help you move and work in the physical world – why do we give it so much sway over our minds and hearts? Does it truly matter if you LOOK a certain way, or KNOW your own truth?

Have you ever noticed how some people just seem to glow? It doesn’t matter what they’re wearing or how they look; the world is attracted to them. It is because their soul is shining through their skin, radiant and beautiful in its truth and growth.

It is the same with our journals. Have you ever seen a page or pages you love and thought, “If I had a journal like that, maybe my pages will look better.” I know I have. Instead of focusing on the insides, we’re worrying about the type and kind of journal we use!

Pour all that energy onto the page! Focus not on the vessel, but on the pages. THAT is where your soul will sing and learn and soon, you, too, will begin to glow…. Soon, you won’t worry about how you look or what your circumstances are, but live in love. Because God, or whomever you believe in, WANTS you to create, to be happy, and to learn who you really are deep inside.

Tomorrow, I plan to sit down with myself, meditate, and listen to the goals my soul wants to achieve in the coming year. Only on the cusp of the new one can we really know what we’d like to do with the blessing of another year of life on this beautiful world. But I can tell you what one of mine will be:

The journal I have right now, TODAY, is the one I will use until every page is full.

It’s going to be hard – really hard – as I have journal ADD….I really DO switch ‘em all the time! In 2008, however, I want to find myself, really find myself, and focusing on that instead of where that’s happening can only help.

I challenge you all to do the same. 

Starting the 1st, I’ll be posting weekly prompts designed to help you, too, find your own truth through visual journaling. Those entries will be accompanied by an essay – my thoughts on the topic. I encourage you to keep up, post your own entries, and share your stories – I’ll be posting them here as well! So if you’ve got a thought, prompt, or story to share, send it in and it just might get up as a guest post.

And now, some business:

• There WON’T be a Winter 2008 issue of Page by Page. As it’s taken so long to get the Fall 2007 issue finished and out, I’d like to stay to schedule and spend a little extra time on the Spring 2008 issue. I can tell you the next journal artist is amazing and I can’t wait to interview her! That also gives you a little more time to get those journal pages in to be featured in the Gallery section.
• The Journal Girl mailing list will be starting a rolling journal page swap on the 1st, so c’mon over if you’d like to be involved!
• Other than the 'zine, mailing list swap, and a Flickr project, I won't be doing anything else until I get things figured out. The whole getting things out late has been a major source of unhappiness and shame in my life, and I don't want that to happen again. I've even hired an intern to help in assembly and distribution, and will be creating a home office (until now, I've been working on my laptop in various cafes and assembling things on the kitchen table). I think having a space dedicated to the 'zine will help streamline the process, as well as give me a space to store back stock...right now, things are so scattered, I have to search for things!

I wish you all a safe and happy New Year's!

<3,
Kira

Baaaaaaa -- like the new duds? Read on!

Why yes, I AM a complete skitzo when it comes to blog layouts!

*G* Tried to clean things up a bit; I'm taking a cue from Lia and working on better-organizing things around here to gear-up for my mailing list re-launch tomorrow. New content, hopefully daily, that I'll be compiling for more-frequent posts.

I'll also be posting a vid this week that will correspond with some new items in my etsy shop.

But first, I must tell you about my new love affair with Apple Barrel Gloss paints.

I *heart* them.

I've been eeeehhhh about background lately, wanting more transparent colors over items...you know, a nice glaze of color. And while I get the general effect from my watercolor crayons, I can't mix those, which means I have to either settle or try layering colors....have you tried that? Yeah...it doesn't work very well!

When over at Red's, I tried one of hers, and yeah, liked it, but didn't think about it again until the other day, when I was feeling horribly fat, down, and ucky and had a bit of extra money to burn a hole in my pocket. I was wandering around Michael's (which was probably ill-advised), grabbing things off the shelf in that oh-that's-cool anti-climatic kind of way...totally emo and such, and was looking at all the paints and BAM -- a row of gloss paints in these awesome bright colors and WHEEE -- I had to grab a bucket from a nearby display to carry 'em all.

Upon getting home, I had to spill my paint and mmmmmm make some journal pages! It'd been awhile, and my meal break at work is JUST loooooong enough to eat and pen a journal entry or doodle some, so I've been journaling more (that, and I keep forgetting my book!). I had a TON of fun and you can see all my pretty pages below.

I've settled into a new style I'm LOVING. A mix of hand-drawn characters (whee!) and magazine people (and now at a discount!) with my new funking handwriting and lots of fun colors. And they don't take a TON of supplies or time to make, which is a plus since I have a lot on my plate! In fact, all my supplies fit in a nice big tote I got from work that's next to my chair right now. My room's freeeeeeezing....I snuggle under blankets to sleep and read but won't be sitting up there to journal. BRRRR! I need to clean it so I can move my space heater in.

OH! New thing! I've decided to give y'all a peek into my journal as I work in it -- I'll be taking shots every time I work in it so you can see how pages progress, as I don't do 'em all at once or in order or anything. So, I hope this helps some of you who are stuck or don't know how things get made. I've got captions on the photos thus-far to help explain things. It's all in a photo album here; I won't be posting pages until they're "done" on flickr. So it's a Kira-blog exclusive!!

GO! Journal In-Progress Gallery

Is a cluttered desk the sign of a cluttered mind?

I try; I really do, to keep my worktable clean. Every few weeks, I’ll finally succumb to the order of neatness and clean everything up. A place for everything and everything in its place. My paints go in my tool bin, pens and pencils in the drawer organizer, paper in it’s magazine holder. And when I’m finished, I can sit back, take a deep breath, and smile at my perfect, neat, orderly table.

It last through my first project; I clutter it up while in the whims of creating.

But here’s what I’ve noticed – I am more creative when my desk is covered with the pieces and tools from other projects.

Case in point: I was working on a journal page and was searching for something to use as a flower stem; I found wonderful clear acrylic stamps on clearance at Target and wanted to play with them. While digging under scraps, paints, paper, and other detritus of art, I found a length of thread already attached to a needle, left over from when I was going to try a copic binding with some thick cardboard. Smirking, I picked it up and stitched stems of various lengths.

Understand, such stitching wouldn’t be possible if I weren’t flexible about my pages – every addition is just that, an addition. Adds to the page. Yes, the purple stitch stems look wonderful on the page with the flowers, but what about the content on the other side of the

piece of paper? Would you pick up the thread if you worried about ruining the other journal page?

 

Don’t see your journal entries as static – they are, like life, time, and the world, in flux. They change each time you open that journal and start slapping on some paint. You might get some on the edges of previous pages. Glue might make things stick together. A fixitif method might peel. Two weeks from now, you may get something that would just look awesome on a page you though was “finished.” Use it!

Continue adding to pages. Add more than just marks or words – add paint or gesso or scraps or photos. Layer them over what’s already on the page. Try working on a page over time instead of all at once. Work on several at once! Be open to hidden meaning.

My art journal mailing list has moved, finally, to yahoo groups. Come visit over there:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/journalgirl

I am STILL behind on emails. I should be caught up by tonight. *crosses fingers*

 

Achieving the Perfect Balance

There is a certain excitement to creating a journal entry you just LOVE, isn't there? :D

I love ALL your lovely emails and comments; I'm sorry I can't answer them all -- please don't think I don't appreciate you! There is only one of me and many of you. I do try to answer all your questions, though, and it might take me a little bit to do so!

I've been neck-deep in InDesign doing layouts and such as well as working on a project that shall soon be finished, but I've made an awesome discovery in the down time I have at my worktable -- my perfect balance.

The Perfect Balance

It's something we, as artistic souls, seek from the first moment we spread paint or paste something down -- that elusive balance of all the ideas and emotions in our heads and hearts and souls on the page. At first, we compare ourselves to the pages we love, shaking our heads....how do they show such emotion? Balance of colors? The mixture of paint and collage and words that sings?

Personally, I've struggled with representation in my art. Let me explain. I love collaging people from old photos and magazines, etc, together in order to make a complex, possibly puzzling figure in my journal entries. My method is to grab what catches my attention without thinking about where it should go or if it should go on the page. I use permanent tape so once something goes down, it's down! These elements end up meaning something to me, each one a facet of the feeling I was trying to capture in my journal.

But I love drawing. I never really thought I was any good at it until I practiced by drawing something daily from my life (a la Danny Gregory) for a year, and when I got into collage, the drawing fell to the wayside.

When on a journal play date with Red last week, I found myself dissatisfied with what I was making, to the point where I covered the pages with gesso, let it dry while I tried to figure out what was out of whack, and turned the page. This feeling continued for a few days, and then, while sitting at my desk full of gratitude, humbleness, and joy, I had a breakthrough.

from the page to the purse!

Sorry I haven't been around as much; I've been out and about all week (talk about no rest for the wicked!). I'm actually updating from a friend's place as, yes, I'm out again!

What I really wanted to show you all (and hi to everyone new!) my newest journaled purse! I designed this one myself and did all the sewing by hand (as my sewing machine is still dead). *G* I was inspired by this journal page of mine...I love when stuff randomly leaks from my head to the page and then turns into something bigger. Have you ever had something like that happen to you?

Being as that I've been out a LOT this week, I haven't been journaling as much as usual...then again, I DO have a handy travel bag. I also grabbed a new mini-binder from R+H and am using that to plan out the next issue of Page by Page, as it goes to design and layout on Monday. I've also just been making random notes and doodles of things I want to try out in my journal when I finally find myself with a little bit of time to sneak away to my desk.

The biggest thing is, I have to get to that desk! You can have all the time in the world but if you wait for inspiration to strike and send you running to your art area, you're not going to get much done. Remember -- art is made by those who show up! Get to your desk or art area and do SOMETHING! Start cleaning up scraps. Throw random paint on the page. SOMETHING. ANYTHING! I implore you to do so! You'll be amazed with how many pages or pieces you start getting done.

And please! Remember: in order to make good art, you have to be willing to make lots of bad art. Every page you create has value! Whether you learn something new, like that even with a coat of paint, Sharpies will die because of the oil pastels underneath, or find a new border or lettering you like....don't shy away from those pages you don't like because then you'll miss out on what they're trying to tell you.

I shall be working on Kira's Amazing Supply list and have it here for download. And, since I've discovered how to record and share video entries, I might just make a short vlog entry for it.

There are more new journal pages up at flickr!

 

I hope you all have an amazing weekend and create something!