a girl and her journal

tiny green buds where before there were none

This is my Spring.

Last week, I got my Spirit Cards read. A little-known fact: I am 1/8th Siksika (Blackfoot), and find myself drawn to nature and the tales of Native Americans. It feels...right. Anyway, these Spirit Cards are Native American and were read by a friend who's part Native, too, and has been reading these cards for about twenty years. A lot of what she said brought images to mind, one of which was that, "This is your springtime...you're getting ready to bloom." One thing I've noticed since I began healing myself, other than my heath improving so much that people are really noticing, is that things are aligning for me in the universe. Since this journal is where I am beginning to see the tiny green shoots poking through dark soil, I felt part of my friend's words should be on the cover.

It's made from felt and fabric. I embroidered the words in some unbleached muslin; it took the longest! I'm not very good at embroidery...I'm totally self taught...so much so I "invented" my stitches. It still was a blast to made, though! And the eyelets in the corners... *giggles* I'm just tickled pink!

Left: Me, mid-embroidery.

 

Mad-Dash Journaling.

I haven't been journaling lately....who knows why? Sometimes, you just need to go with the flow and accept that NOT doing an activity is just as valuable as doing it. This might sound odd, but it's true. You see, when I'm NOT journaling, I'm taking photos, reading, walking in the woods, playing with the dogs. All these activities feed my soul and become part of me. We are ever-changing creatures, and every experience we have changes us -- I am not the same person I was 10 minutes ago, and in an hour, I'll be different than I am now. My break allowed me to soak in inspiration, open my mind to changes in who and what I am.

If you've been reading, you know I've been going through some sort of spiritual journey. It's opened the world up to me, allowing me to see things differently. All of this input has been rattling around in my head until yesterday, it just had to get out. 

I didn't do much, and went out only to grab some new paint markers, fabric, and felt. The rest of the day was spent with my nose in my journal. Doodling and drawing and making dots -- I kept working on the yellow page here well past the point I'd usually stop....More and more and more and MORE!!! I colored and added more color and kept going and lines and omg, can you see how I just was charged, just couldn't help myself? *laughs* After I finish this entry, I'm going to go back to work....on my pages!!! Sorry that I'm only showing a bit...but near 'zine time, I like to save my pages for that...that way, the newest stuff's in the 'zine and reflects the most-current me. ;)

One of the things I've noticed is that I'm doing two things:

A. Moving around a lot,

That means, I'll doodle somewhere, and then flip the page and doodle elsewhere. Or draw. Or write. Or glue something down. Or paint. Well, I haven't really painted much as I pre-painted a bunch of pages....which reminds me, I have to do that again so I've got more places to play! But yeah. Unlike life, my journal is not linear.

B. Working piece by piece.

My pages are coming together after several small sittings. The page on the right down there (sorry you can't see all of it...it's still in progress!) started with paint. Then the drawing in pencil. Then the writing. Then the coloring of the girl. And it's FAR from done. On the left, there was the background, then the bird, then the cut out in the middle, then waves. Swirls. And the words ALSO came in seperate sittings. I mean that I don't sit down and work start to finish in one sitting. I'm LIVING in between. I might sit and doodle, but then I'm making lunch or playing fetch or napping or writing. Even going to work! I've found things are more unpredictable and easier to push the envelope, so to speak, than working through it at once.

Kira Workshop.

I'll be "teaching" a workshop this June through my mailing list, JournalGirl. I'm so excited to be doing this, and might start sooner....I'm creating, lesson by lesson, a journal for you all that will hopefully be useful to you after the class is over. I've wanted to teach for awhile, now, and figure if I can't do it in person, I'll do it online! Sometimes, you've got to just go out there and DO it. And, if I want to teach workshops in person, I'll have something together already -- as SARK says, make it REAL, and the rest will follow.

And Finally....New Amy Butler & K&Co. Stuff!!

OMG! Look!!! There's a new collection for K&Co. by Amy Butler. I wish I could have bought it all. Not only is it ROCKING AWESOME, but it's eco-friendly; the packaging is recycled and can be recycled! This picture only shows you a bit of the 88 die-cut pieces in this collection. They're all awesome, beautiful, and I'm giddy just thinking of all the stuff I'll get to use. It was only $5 for this whole thing. There's also beautiful fabric tags, alphabets, brads.....awwwwww......Run, don't walk, to your local Michael's and check it out!!

questions of self-fulfilling prophecies * bitten by a nice bug * marker layers of beauty

As with any sort of blogging, I've been around and have actually opened TypePad to post, but sit there, looking at the screen, wondering the validity of what I want to post. Is it interesting? Worth posting? You know how it goes -- too many questions!

The same thing happens with any sort of creative venture -- you start wondering if those thoughts, colors, etc are worth putting down. You don't want to disappoint, right? Even when the very person you're trying to please is yourself....and you're the one with the ideas! So wouldn't that mean that you'd be pleased because they were your ideas?

Try to wrap your head around THAT?

*laughs*

More inner than outer work. And I've finally been bit by the 'zine bug. I've decided I'm not going to try and force myself to work on it because that really doesn't, well, WORK. I get bit by this bug and then all I want to do is write and layout and design and wheeeee! I was wondering if I really DID enjoy making the 'zine, since it's been a few months since the last issue went out since I wasn't all gung-ho to go and work on it. But now I know.

I think I've got to start sitting down....showing up to the table. One of the hindrances has been that my laptop battery's not working right now (got someone on it!) so my laptop's been in one stationary place and when I get upstairs, I always want to read or paint or play with the dogs. Arg! So it's now with me and I'm working on a few articles of my own to add to the few I've gotten through submissions.

For a bit, I was sad that not many people have been interested in adding to the 'zine. But I started the thing by myself, and I'm going to keep working on it that way. I've got TONS of ideas and pictures and books to recommend, so that's what I'm going to do. I have too much fun to let external forces influence my emotions over things.

I DO want to get some Moleskine artists in a future issue. I've some contacts and ideas of my own, but please, recommend people you'd like to see!

Here's how this next issue wants to be born. A bit different (or a LOT!), but I am only the messenger!

Check out the AMAZING artwork of the very talented Niki Kelce  (flickr).

 
Isn't her work just awe-inspiring? After drooling over her flickr page for awhile, I actually pulled out my old stores of gel pens and markers and tried my hand....I wasn't very successful! *laughs* This girl really does have talent and I adore all her work. Go check her out and say hi!

Back to surfing the web for amazing journal artists to invite into Page by Page. Let me know if you know of anyone or if you'd like me to come pay you a visit.

<3 Kira

Week #5: Word Soup (II)

Yes, this counts as the last week of January/ first of February.

Morning Pages & Productivity & 'zine Stuff

I wrote a huge post last night about the wonders of Morning Pages and my productivity, but I'm moving slower today and the energy just isn't there. That, and my laptop's decided NOT to warn me when it's about to die, and I lost the post.

Which was pretty much the story of my day.

After being encouraged by Morning Pages, I not only packaged late orders, but collated and BY HAND cut down several copies of the 'zine to put in back stock. There's a foot-high stack of envelopes on my shelf that represents EVERY ZINE ORDERED. Yes, you read that correctly. If you've ordered a 'zine from me, it's goin' out by Monday. That's it. I'm caught up. Amazing, isn't it? There have been several issues of orphaned (lost) copies, and I've gotten 2 returned thus far, so PLEASE, for the LOVE OF PETE, make sure your PAYPAL ADDRESS is CORRECT & CURRENT. Nothing's worse than getting your copy off to you only to find it sling-shot back. You have to thus wait longer, and I have to pay for shipping out of pocket (too bad I can't use the stamps twice!).

There are several changing regarding the 'zine and such coming up, so I've set up an announcement list link over there on the sidebar for those interested in getting the updates and such.

The Informative & Cool 'zine Announcement List

Woohoo! Etsy Shop Updates!

I also UPDATED MY ETSY SHOP. New collage packs and several original paintings and journal pages are up there. It's time for Kira Fund Raising. I worked a 1099 job this year, which means I actually have to PAY taxes instead of getting something back. Hours at the Day Job are slow. And I've found out some of the debt collectors are calling the references (which is one of the most embarrassing things EVER). My paychecks are going towards my medications (which average over $400 a month), which leaves little to keep the blog going, the 'zine publishing, and other artful expenses. I've already decided to not buy any new supplies this year, or any new purses (I'm a bag ADDICT), so if something in the shop tickles your fancy, PLEASE give it a loving home.

Kira's Awesome Beautiful Etsy Shop!

Word Soup (part deux):

Ingredients:

• Word Soup Page
• Pencil or Pen
• Crayons, Markers, Oil Pastels

Pull out your Word Soup page from last week. Look at it. Read over what you have written. I'm sure a little voice in your head is saying, "Well, why did you say that? Isn't (blank) true?" Using your pen or pencil, write in what that inner voice is saying.

Things aren't so nice, now, are they? Invite your inner child to voice their opinion. Use colorful crayons, etc, to doodle on the page (as inner children love to color and usually ignore negative things BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT TRUE). Your critic, the ego, is trying to stay in control -- do you WANT someone like that spoiling your fun? Let the inner child color and play and talk to YOU.

Look at the page when finished. NOW, what does it SAY about you? This is a completed picture, since all sides of you are shown on the page. Sit back and think about what is says and how you can improve on things (if needed).

Do this exercise once a week, if possible. It's important for us to stay in touch with ALL the Beings inside, not just the one that's with you when you sit down to do art.

Click on the image to get to flickr to see the full size (so you can read it!).

The Great Zine Saga

This, I predict, is going to be a long one.

So, the week I unveiled the 'zine and put it available for order, I sent it to the printer. Upon getting my proof copy back, well, I had to revise it, yadda, yadda, and expected to have it out soon, as it goes.

Another copy came back with cover problems. Fixed that. Sent it out.

On the day I gave the final version off to the printer (around the 14th), I was told I'd only be able to get half the order printed because they were taking the week off for Thanksgiving. Well, imagine my surprise. I told 'em to get as many printed as possible since it had taken so long to get the proofs printed in the first place (that, yes, is something I should have done earlier...remember, I'm learning as I go) and I'd get them all finished and out that week.

Here's where things get MORE frustrating.

On that Saturday (about the 17th), I called around trying to find a place that could bulk cut the pages -- since the 'zine's tabloid sized, it's printed on 12" x 18" and cut down to the 11" x 17". Most places said they could only take paper up to 15" long.

Side note: I never, EVER expected to have this many people interested. When I started, I expected 15 people to read the 'zine as my first 'zine (not related to this one) only sold about 10 copies. I got around 50 for the first issue, which was awesome and exciting and manageable. With as many order as I got this time, I couldn't really do things the same way (entirely by hand, including the cutting), hence the calling around.

I work near Staples, the only place who said they could cut the paper, so I dropped in on Monday to pick my order up.

They said it wasn't done yet.

Befuddled as to what could take so long, I called again on Wednesday. Again, not finished.

Thursday was a holiday. Friday, I went in and asked what the hold up was. When I saw my order, the receipt said $144.

"Umm, I can't pay this!" I told them.

Apparently, when I asked, the guy thought I wanted each one cut by hand by THEM, which is why it was so expensive. I couldn't believe they'd think I came in there with over 1,000 sheets of paper to be cut by hand....no one asked me anything, really, and I even had a voice mail asking me what I needed, again.

Side Note #2: Printer's layouts have notches at the corners to use as guidelines to cut the page. I clearly explained this. This isn't brain surgury!

I had to take what they'd done -- the ends -- which was considerably less (thank GOD).

I worked Saturday.

Sunday, I pulled the papers out. Despite the massive amount of paper, I had to go back to how I'd done everything before -- completely by hand. When I looked at the covers, I swore -- they were cut crooked!! I'd PAID them to cut them and they weren't even right. At this point, I had several emails inquirering where the 'zine was and I HAVE to get it out, so, after a fit of crying, I started collating and folding and stapling and cutting. I even went out to get one of those guillotine-style paper cutters....it couldn't cut through all the pages! I tried a free-form cutter. No luck.

The good news is there's a growing stack of FINISHED copies on my table. And I'll start sending copies out tomorrow. My finger's all sore from the cutting...poor thing! And tomorrow's my day off this week from my other job, so I'll be finishing them all and getting everything packed up for shipment. They'll be tipped-in the mail Thursday.

A lot of the delay came from, yes, myself. And my naivety that I knew how things worked and how long things would take because I'd done it before. But once before wasn't enough, and I've REALLY learned my lesson.

All I can do is apologize for the delays. I do know I've shot myself in the foot here, and many won't be ordering another issue -- I have to live with that. And honestly, I wouldn't blame you. As a consumer myself, I'd be frustrated as heck. For those on the fence, I give you this:

I swear to GOD, to all of you, and to myself I WILL NOT put the 'zine up for order until I have 100 copies COMPLETED and sitting next to me READY TO SHIP.

I can't let my excitement get to me and jump the gun. And I can't let my real life get in the way of business.

I really love writing for and publishing this 'zine and hope to continue doing so for as long as you'll have me.

And, in order to keep my promise, I'll post a picture of the COMPLETED 'zines with the order information. Just to prove to you how much you all mean to me, how much this 'zine means to me, and, you know, so you can call bullshit if need be.

Love,
Kira

And here it is!

Well, here it is! After, well, weeks of work, I've FINALLY gotten to the point where we're trying to figure out how many copies to print -- that means Page by Page #2 is now available for order! *G*

Click here to go to the order page!

Phew! I have just a few more little formatting things to iron out and that project will be DONE. *sigh!* While I ADORE creating my 'zine, it can be quiet overwhelming! When I published the first issue, I thought I'd get MAYBE 10 pre-orders; imagine my surprise when I had 40 to package and send out! What's great this time around is that I've enough capital to have someone else fold, staple, and cut it (for the first, I cut every single one by hand with a ruler and x-acto knife!).

I already have the NEXT issue planned, at least parts of it in my head. Please help me flesh it out by submitting YOUR ideas and journal pages and articles!

I feel a bit less crazy with a few things finished; now I have free time, but oh! I got a new "day job" (I am a firm believer in day jobs for artists -- great inspiration, fodder, and time to work things out) at Barnes & Noble for the season; it's my second year working over the holidays, and yes, I'm crazy for doing so! But I love it. I'm part-time, which works for me -- I can work and then paint or whatever when I'm not working.

Oh! I developed a new -- what would you call it? Pattern? Method? -- for making journals. It's SO FUN. The cover's padded and I used flannel so it's all cozy and warm...makes me want to curl up with it! And -- I figured out how to make buttons with my shrink plastic! EEE! I'll be binding a few now that I know all the measurements and stuff just in time for holiday shopping. Buy handmade! *laughs* I know I'll be making all my gifts this holiday...when I'll find time, I have no idea!

PS. Don't worry -- I'll be making video for y'all this weekend!

So Many Projects, so Little Time!

I'm gearing up for the second 'zine distribution. It often involves many manila envelopes, lots of tea, family and friends, and colorful markers. That, and lack of sleep. It's a home-grown operation over here, from start to finish, and a fun time of year.

I've released Issue #2's table of contents over on the Page by Page site; it also has some info on pre-ordering the 'zine. I'm totally psyched -- this issue's going to be much longer and has some GREAT contributors. This week will be devoted to finalizing the layout and FINALLY emailing back all of you who submitted pages for the Gallery. Sorry! :< <- long face!

You might be wondering what this little design on the left is for; I've designed several covers for what I call mini-BookBooks. You might be familiar with the term if you've read any of Sally Jean; she uses a thick book of cardstock as a journal to generate ideas. I got the idea of making thinner ones to toss in your purse or back pocket for those on-the-go ideas. We all have those days when we're going somewhere we don't want to carry a purse/bag to...and then, something awesome turns up and you're writing on the back of a receipt with the cashier's pen (I know I have!). These little things are much like the Moleskine Cahiers in cover stock, then filled with 90lb cardstock to shelter all your ideas.

I can't wait to get them all assembled! Those, with the 'zine and a secret project, will have me busy busy these next few weeks! :)

Now Semi-Live! Kira tries podcasting

This month's Crusade at the GPP Blog is to share some tunes. Since all my music files were deleted when I re-installed my operating system, I decided to try my hand at podcasting instead. I hope this still counts! I've done internet radio, so this seemed like a fun little thing.

Mirror Window Cover

Included in this podcast:

Fax Art
Mirror Windows Tutorial
Page by Page shipping info, future issues, and submission details

Just a little fun! Enjoy! And tell me what you think!

Just a note: it recorded kind of low, so you'll have to turn the volume up.

Download MP3 [16mb]

9 Things I've Learned From Being a Zinester

There are several things creating and distributing a 'zine has taught me:

+ Never guess with shipping charges. You will ALWAYS be wrong and not in the "I charged too much," kind of way.

+ Don't scan images if you're going to manipulate the size. I did this for my personal 'zine, and maaaan are they pixelated. Photographing them at hi-rez allows more leeway with size and scale.

+ Everything will happen at the last minute.

+ You will find an error while packaging the last copy. Since you stayed up late the night before, you will no longer care.

+ There is no such thing as too many copies. Nor is there such thing as extra.

+ There is something to be said about each copy going to an individual; they can't get together and notice the mistakes.

+ Two x-acto knives is NOT better than one if the second is held by someone inexperienced.

+ Labels are overrated.

+ It can be the most frustrating, agonizing, pull-your-hair out wonderful awesome experience in your life. It's like tattoos; you can't get just one.

Last night, Page by Page came in as unbound 12"x17" sheets. I spent the evening, and into the wee hours, folding, stapling, and cutting -- yes CUTTING -- the 'zine until all 40 pre-orders were DONE. This, of course, was after a morning of spray painting the envelopes and writing the addresses by hand with markers. And this morning, I ran to the post office for stamps....and proceeded to stamp 'em all.

I am SO EXCITED to throw 'em into the mailbox and send them off to all of you! This 'zine has eaten my brain and creative time for the last month, what with revisions, printing delays, and my injury. But they are finished, sent, ready for all of you.

Now, time to get started on the next issue.

First, I am spending the weekend creating lesson plans for the journaling class/workshop I'm hoping *crosses fingers* to teach this fall in Crystal Lake. It's one of those things; I have to think of all the techniques I use to journal, but as I sit with my notebook open, I can't think of ONE. *sigh* Cori on my mailing list has given me a great resource, and I'm using a teacher's lesson plan as a framework. I'm psyched and scared at the same time -- excited to be teaching, but scared I'll get rejected. Then again, I can always go on my own!

Today's a rainy day. It means I can sit and create and not feel guilty for staying inside with my art supplies. Anyone else feel like that on those warm, perfect summer days? That you should be outside? *laughs* 

a few extra copies

Page by Page is going out Saturday, and I have 3 extra copies left (as I needed to print an even number). If you're interested, email me. First come, first serve.

The 'zine will be available at the regular price ($6) in two weeks until I run out.

:) Kira

Born from Necessity...and happy happenings!

 

I think there comes a time in every creative's life when they must go with the flow and acclimate or simply stop.

The first time I came to one of these forks in the road was back at the beginning of high school, when I was first diagnosed with FMS and had stomach problems so severe, I was popping prescription-strength anti-nausea pills three times a day (and always worried, being as I like to follow the rules, that they'd discover I was carrying prescription medication in my bag). Several changes had to take place in my life, and I could either make them and life around my problems, or refuse and stop living.

Perhaps my current injury isn't as bad as back then (as things came on as result of an injury; I sprained my entire leg and was in a immobilizer and walking with crutches for weeks), but I wasn't painting and collaging and such. I'm right handed and enjoy writing by hand, painting, cutting things out, those sorts of things. Constructing these blog entries takes awhile as I need to rest every so often.

A quick non sequitur to say thank you, oh so much, for all your kind well-wishes! I cherish all the positive energy! I went to see the doctor again; she's put me on another batch of steroids. She thinks there's an pinched nerve in my shoulder caused by inflammation, and if this new batch doesn't relieve the pain, I have to get an MRI and see an orthopedic surgeon. Yipes! MRI's are nothing -- I've had 'em before -- but I might have to get surgery and THAT'S scary. At least insurance is paying for it. And did you know they don't sell slings at Walgreen's anymore?

Ahem. Anyway, because of all this, I can't really paint with a brush. I've begun cutting things out (of my new issue of Martha Stewart Weddings, cause I LOVE the beautiful dresses and flowers!) and have some double-sided tape so I don't have to brush on any sort of glue -- I've forgotten how much I LOVE double-sided tape. And some colored pencils.

And painting with my left hand! I drip acrylics on the page and smear them around with my left hand until they "dry." I'm LOVING this new discovery, this new method -- I love how it looks and the messy backgrounds I can create over collaged pages or just atop my tinted gesso pages. I mix a little of color with gesso and spread it all over my pages....it makes it easy to work on and takes away that White Page Fright.

Yesterday, I was looking through the cards in my mom's copy of The Art Box and came upon Frida Kahlo's. Her painting spoke to me; I first became interested in Frida's work after reading the card on her in Randi's "Wide Open." I was intrigued by the art she did based on Frida's and always wanted to seek out more.

The card mentioned at the bottom that Frida suffered from spinal problems later in life and was bedridden. But she continued to paint despite extreme pain. I stopped and reflected, inspired. Frida's didn't let pain stop her, so why was I? Yes, my mother had been hounding me to take it easy, but weren't there other ways I could use to create? Wasn't a little shoulder burning okay as long as I paced myself?

I hope to explore more themes around Frida and her art, as well as my new methods born from necessity.

And now for some exciting news!

Look! That's me, after getting out of the pool, holding up the master copy of Page by Page! It's SO AMAZING to hold it in my hands after the last month! I learned InDesign by fire; I had to teach myself as I created the spreads and can't BELIEVE I did it! I am so proud of this publication, I'm giddy! Here are some sample spreads.

There are still 3 pre-order slots left over at my etsy shop.

Remember when I talked about  creating Inspiration Packs?  Page by Page started as a little hand-out to go with the packs of collage materials and kinda grew...but I wasn't going to abandon the Inspiration Packs! Here's a photo of the Large Size's contents:

There's fabric, papers, graffiti paper, transparent vellum, ephemera, foreign papers, punchella, random bits, doodle labels, and more! It all comes in a pretty, spray-painted plastic envelope. I currently have 4 available for $14 plus shipping. Let me know if you're interested!

And now, I'm off to read my copy of Artful Blogging, pet my own 'zine, and watch me some "Monk" and "Psych."

Have a fantastic, creative weekend!!!

<3 Kira